Ways, Tips And Strategies On How To Get Your Ex Girlfriend Back

The break-up blues. We’ve all suffered through them. Some of us hunker down in our apartments for weeks, eating junk food, drinking beer and watching reality TV or sports hour after hour. Sure, we surface to go to work or school — our game face on — but that is about it.

How To Get Her BackWe eventually feel well enough to slowly start to go to what could be called social events, only to leave early so as to lick our wounds in private.

I mean, it is exhausting to hear how surprised all of your friends are that you have suddenly found yourself single; having to dodge all that sympathy heading your way. Right?

Others refuse to succumb to said break-up blues. They forge ahead, refusing to take time out to grieve. Or eat junk food. I mean, with all of the available single women around, they just have no time to reflect on that big unmentionable thing that just happened.

Yes, this crowd may be choosing to live in denial but it works for them. Maybe.

But, sometimes after the dust settles, a clear realization descends upon you. You want her in your life again, right? Things felt right when you were together but they feel very wrong now. With this epiphany can come a bleakness and helplessness. What to do?

Looking for something different to make her like you? Read this popular guide: How To Get A Girl To Like You With This Ultimate Guide For 2013

Well, the first thing you should do is take a serious look at what happened. Is a reunion plausible? Or even possible? If she has married and moved out of state, you need to move on. Seriously. But if you had a relationship that was really good once, and you are still both single, you may well wonder if there could be a path forward. Here are some tips.

Take Care of Yourself

As unfair as it may seem, women, and this includes your ex-girlfriend, are not all that attracted to men whose physical health seems to be in decline. Throw out the junk food and bring in the fish, vegetables and brown rice. When you open your fridge, you should see the bright colors of vegetables; and maybe even a jar of carrot juice.

Learn why she might reject you: The Top 12 Reasons Why Women Reject Men (Almost Instantly)  Its worth it, TRUST ME!!!

Don’t let your exercise routine slide because you’ve suddenly found yourself on your own. Keeping fit will not only keep you looking healthy but feeling OK. And you need to try to feel OK. If you do not regularly work out, it’s time to begin. There is great article about ways to look hotter via building muscle and losing fat on Art Of Manliness. These tips will make you look hotter. Start small. Choose an activity that you’ve always been curious about, like rock climbing, hiking, or shoe showing. Get into it.

Watch this video here and then continue reading our tips:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Q9uay8u3ZuY

Try Something New

When you have decided on a regime that will take care of your physical health, it is time to take up a new hobby. Seriously. Show her that you are embracing life, ready to try new things. Relationships sometimes end because of stagnation; there does not seem to be joy around the next bend but just more of the same. Taking steps to show that you are capable of change might just spark a change in how your ex-girlfriend sees you.

Take stock

Human are usually defensive beings. We find it tough to take criticism, even when it is meant in a kind, constructive way. (And this is natural.) Think about your relationship with your ex. Did she talk to you about some changes she’d like you to make? Perhaps you became easily frustrated when things didn’t go your way? Maybe you spent hours surfing the net instead of going out for a walk with her? Or maybe you never — ever– made dinner?

Whatever the small issues that rose up between you, you should accept that making a true effort to change your lifestyle can show your ex that you think your relationship is important enough to work on. Say, you consistently refused to do your share of the cooking when you were together, but now you invite your ex over for a well-cooked meal. How impressive would that be?

The professionals

If she is open to the idea, you could suggest to her that you would like to try a reconciliation and that you welcome attending couple’s counseling so that the relationship is given a new chance; a new life.

Be kind

Under no circumstances should you trash your her to your family, your friends or her friends. Speak about her as if she is someone who you care a great deal about. Which she is.

Hey, you have to watch these insane tips!!!

Have a Look At Your life in General

We have our best relationships when our personal and professional lives are going well; when we are in a positive place. If you have some work to do in your personal or professional life, take some steps to move yourself forward. None of us has the power to change our lives overnight. But we do have the power to imagine where we want to be in life and to begin the journey that will eventually take us there.

Master these self confidence tips: OMG Tips To Improve Self Esteem And Confidence While Dating

Be positive

Sounds simple, doesn’t it? But it is actually tough. Things can seem rather bleak when the love of your life has left it. Choosing to be positive puts you in a space where something cool just might happen. If glumness follows you around like a cloud, it is unlikely that your ex-girlfriend will want to step out of the sun to join you in gloomy town.

Become Healthy and Whole

In a nutshell, if you want her in your life again, you should focus on becoming the best you can be. This means being physically and mentally healthy, exercising regularly, taking up a new and interesting hobby, developing super listening skills, showing that you can do new things and that you can change.

Be Joyful Now

The awesome part of this plan is that even if your ex-girlfriend is somehow able to resist your wooing, you will be on the path to a place where you are ready to begin a new relationship. Be good to yourself, don’t blame yourself that your relationship ended, but be realistic in accepting that there are things that you, that anyone, could have done better. Take one step at a time. You’ll get there. Or somewhere else worth being.

Further Reading and Resources

  • wendy.fornilo

    Why would you want an Ex back? Did you forget that she cheated? Did you forget she was a nagging Bit@h, did you forget she was inconsiderate, needy, clingy, jealous, and snooped through your cell phone when you were in the shower? Holy amnesia! The only time you should try to get an ex back is if you did something to lose her for real. and you are sincere about making a change that would make for a long lasting and healthy relationship.

    • efpierce

      I agree with you on this! If she was that bad, she is just like poison to your life and should be avoided as such.

    • http://charmingoo.com/ Josh Brancek

      Wendy, thanks for sharing your perspective on this!!!

    • Marcel

      That’s pretty much my view on things. It’s over, so get over it. Unless you’re the type to get irrational and break up with an otherwise good girl over one isolated fight, you should have tried to work it out before the breakup and seen that it just isn’t working!

  • Jeremy J

    Hey, what happens when you play country music backwards?

    You get your house back, you get your truck back , you get your dog back ,and you get your Ex back! Lol. Problem solved!

    • http://charmingoo.com/ Josh Brancek

      Now this is funny :)

  • Mike W

    Yeah, think I’ll pass on this part. My ex was a real lady while we were dating. once we moved in together she turned into a raving lunatic Be-otch. we Broke up, I pity the next guy that shacks up with her.

    • http://charmingoo.com/ Josh Brancek

      Mike, I am sorry that this happened to you.

  • efpierce

    Oh wait! To get her back? I though this was to get back at her! I need a post and some advice on how to keep her away without being a jerk. Anyone help me out?

    • http://www.breathezy.com Jimmy79

      efpierce, it doesn’t matter what you do or how nicely you do it, the recipient of unrequited love will always think you’re a jerk. You might as well pull that bandaide off quick bro.

      • http://charmingoo.com/ Josh Brancek

        Yop Jimmy, so true, so true!!!

      • Alice

        Thanks Jimmy. I learned that the hard way, unfortunately. After working my but off to repay every bit of kindness given to me by my boyfriend while he progressively became an ever more unappreciative jerk, I realized that I would never be able to earn my freedom from him. I just had to go, he would never give me his blessing or call us even.

  • Chris Romans

    Good article Josh! A lot of what you are describing is really geared towards attracting someone, not necessarily an ex, but it could definitely be useful in that sort of scenario. In most cases, when I break up with someone, I don’t want them around any more. Usually irreconcilable differences. But I’m sure other people have different experiences, and might just want their ex back in their life. If that’s the case, these tips will definitely help. I can definitely agree with the importance of getting back in shape and eating healthy, because often our bad habits rub off onto our partner. And if we have a lot of bad habits, they add up into a whirlpool of depression for both people. I’ve run into this before as I have major depressive disorder and frequently would find myself into drugs and other bad habits, and it took it’s toll on my girlfriend. But before losing her, I made an effort to get off the drugs and kick some of these habits. Took steps to be healthier physically and mentally, and I’ve been better for it. It is definitely best to try to prevent a split as opposed to attempting to fix a relationship that is already severed.

  • Robert

    Getting an ex back is not a bad idea. Sometimes if the person was a decent person, and you just really didn’t give the relationship a try, it is okay to try and go back. Lol.. sometimes it is best to leave it alone. I can see it then again I don’t know.

  • patlee

    I’ve actually heard on a radio show once that going to the gym and working out is one of the

    best ways to relieve the stress of a breakup. Helps to get out some too I guess.

    • Mitchell

      It’s also one of the best ways to meet hot and healthy chicks! Bonus :)

  • jonnie

    Man you are so spot on about the trash talking each other. It happened to me once when an ex run me through the mud on Facebook and then later wanted to get back together. After that there was no way we’d be together.

  • larryz

    Take the time for yourself in a breakup. Get yourself in order before you attempt to go back with someone is what’s always worked for me. And even if it doesn’t work you aren’t a slob that’s been gaining weight since the breakup

  • Daniel

    I’ve been through a bad break-up recently and I’ve been trying to get my ex back for some time now. It hasn’t worked to my advantage, but I really believe she’s the one. I’m okay with giving her some time alone, but I fear she’s going to find another man and forget about me. Ah it sucks so bad.

  • Eugene

    My girlfriend decided to call it quits with me about 4 months ago, we dated for for 5 years, so it’s rough when you consider I could have potentially wasted 5 years of my life, but I don’t feel that way. It sucks because I really loved this woman and now she probably thinks that her 5 years with me was a waste of time. I’m trying to better myself now, lose weight, get a better job and I’m even thinking about going to college again.

    Maybe she’ll see what I become, if not, it’s her loss I suppose.

    • Peter

      Yeah, but getting back with her just so you can justify the previous time dating her is pretty bad. Think of it this way, if you go back and waste another 5, you’ll be 10 in the hole! you can avoid that, and just walk away now. It’s hard, but sometimes it’s true…

  • James

    I agree with everything posted here. Getting your girlfriend back is hard, but it’s possible. I was able to get my girlfriend back a couple months ago when she all of a sudden broke up with me. She told me I had to change, get healthier and that she wasn’t going to want to take care of me. I was taking drugs at the time of the breakup and so that’s a logical reason. I wasn’t listening to her and I declined help many times, it finally opened my eyes when she left.

    I went to rehab, saw a doctor, got healthier and started working out like I did when we first met. I went to her and she immediately took me back. She noticed my progress right away when she broke up with me, and I knew she was waiting for me.

  • Rick O.

    I went through a rough breakup, never got her back, but I figured it was time to give that up. You can’t always pursue someone after they believe they’re done with you. Sometimes we guys just have to move on, that’s the sad truth. I was in love with her and I wanted her to be happy. I know that sounds cliche, but hey, if she wasn’t happy with me, that says something about my character.

  • Lana B. Russel

    To all the guys out there, I just wanted to stop by and say that I understand what you’re going through. Some guys have broke up with me when I was clearly falling for them. I like to say that many of the time, these women still care for you, they still have some sort of feelings for you, so there’s hope. There’s always hope. I never pursued my ex because I knew he wasn’t right for me, we only dating a year and a half, so I figured it wasn’t the right person anyways.

    • Henley

      I’m also a chick, and I just want to say that even though she might still have some feelingd for you, sometimes it’s best to let her go her seperate way. She might not have broken up with you because she didn’t like you, but because she didn’t like who she was becoming around you and didn’t like the future that she saw developing between you. Sometimes it’s just time to move on. You don’t know what she wants for herself in life, and it’s a pretty egotistical thing to assume that it’s something you can provide for her. You’re a man, not a mind reader. If she wants to go, she has her reasons. And more often than not, they have less to do with you than you think.

  • Brian

    Would love some good advice. I had been crushing on this girl since I met her a year ago, at the time she was in a relationship and I did not act on my feelings, and began a friendship, nothing significant just the occasional FB message, this past summer for whatever reason we started chatting more and started hanging out doing some fun friend things ( Mountain biking, hiking ) after a few hangouts I could sense there was something happening and made to the move to officially ask her to date. She shared with me that she was dating somebody else and was trying to break it off, but didn’t want to hurt his feelings..and really wanted to spend more time getting to know me. I asked if it was serious with this person and she said no, only about a month before her and I started hanging out. Appreciating this and that I was and am dating others I agreed it would be nice to keep hanging out or go in some dates. Over the next few weeks things seemed to heat up more, but to a limit considering she had to deal with another, but enjoyable company nonetheless. Now where things got interesting or dicey was over a month period we both were doing a lot of travel, separately with a brief interlude in between. It was before she left for a 3 week girlfriend Mexico trip that we spent the eve together that I could sense a some distance. I pressed as to what was going on, and her response was stressing over the trip, finances and oh by the way I still have not broke off with the other guy, something she wanted to deal with after Mexico. Again, assuring me that she wanted to focus on spending more time together when she got back. I initially acknowledged this by stating I hope that my pace has been supportive… and she agreed, but at that moment that still did not feel good to me. I spoke to her briefly the next day and asked her what she needed or wanted from me until she handled her business. Again, assured me that how I have been was awesome and she was looking forward to spending time with me when she got back. Have a nice trip! send an occasional photo…. see you in a few weeks. Well she got back this week and we had a variety of small communications text, FB & calls and were planning to meet for dinner. I could sense again something was off and was preparing for the worst… and a phone call… Small talk, little laughs…. and what time do you want to meet for dinner… and here comes the hammer… She says: I feel really bad, but being on my trip I really thought I should give “other guy” a chance, you have been awesome.. yada yada yada. I have made it a practice not to react, especially since I have not invested alot of myself into this due to what was supposed to be her impending break off, and oddly enough she shared with me a laundry list of valid reasons why she shouldn’t date this person. I may have shot myself in the foot, well a number of times. 1st by making it easier to let me go, assuring here that I am not one to be treated with Kid gloves. 2nd not putting my best foot forward and making it harder for her to make a choice.

    okay so now you have most of the back story here is where I would love some sound advice. As it occurred to me that this girl has captivated my attention for the last 4 months and turning off my feelings does not seem like it is going to be an easy thing to do. We live in a small town, so it is highly likely we will see each other often.

    1. She is a naturopathic dr, and at the conclusion of our call she had offered to do some bodywork on me since I had recently fractured my collarbone and had been very helpful to me when it had occurred. Do i :

    A: Take her up on her offer

    B: Reject the offer until I am feeling less emotionally impacted

    C: Not even act upon it

    2. My sense and is that once she reinvests time into the “other guy” all of her concerns will resurface and that will end. If she was sincere on how she felt about me. From my past experience 6wks I should be hearing from her.

    Advice if/when this happens

    Obviously I really dig this girl so I would great advice that doesn’t involve stalking would be appreciated.

    I have already recast my nets, but I really am getting tired of this.. meet a new girl stuff

    Thanks for reading, looking forward to some other perspectives.

    Brian

  • Brian

    Would love some good advice. I had been crushing on this girl since I met her a year ago, at the time she was in a relationship and I did not act on my feelings, and began a friendship, nothing significant just the occasional FB message, this past summer for whatever reason we started chatting more and started hanging out doing some fun friend things ( Mountain biking, hiking ) after a few hangouts I could sense there was something happening and made to the move to officially ask her to date. She shared with me that she was dating somebody else and was trying to break it off, but didn’t want to hurt his feelings..and really wanted to spend more time getting to know me. I asked if it was serious with this person and she said no, only about a month before her and I started hanging out. Appreciating this and that I was and am dating others I agreed it would be nice to keep hanging out or go in some dates. Over the next few weeks things seemed to heat up more, but to a limit considering she had to deal with another, but enjoyable company nonetheless. Now where things got interesting or dicey was over a month period we both were doing a lot of travel, separately with a brief interlude in between. It was before she left for a 3 week girlfriend Mexico trip that we spent the eve together that I could sense a some distance. I pressed as to what was going on, and her response was stressing over the trip, finances and oh by the way I still have not broke off with the other guy, something she wanted to deal with after Mexico. Again, assuring me that she wanted to focus on spending more time together when she got back. I initially acknowledged this by stating I hope that my pace has been supportive… and she agreed, but at that moment that still did not feel good to me. I spoke to her briefly the next day and asked her what she needed or wanted from me until she handled her business. Again, assured me that how I have been was awesome and she was looking forward to spending time with me when she got back. Have a nice trip! send an occasional photo…. see you in a few weeks. Well she got back this week and we had a variety of small communications text, FB & calls and were planning to meet for dinner. I could sense again something was off and was preparing for the worst… and a phone call… Small talk, little laughs…. and what time do you want to meet for dinner… and here comes the hammer… She says: I feel really bad, but being on my trip I really thought I should give “other guy” a chance, you have been awesome.. yada yada yada. I have made it a practice not to react, especially since I have not invested alot of myself into this due to what was supposed to be her impending break off, and oddly enough she shared with me a laundry list of valid reasons why she shouldn’t date this person. I may have shot myself in the foot, well a number of times. 1st by making it easier to let me go, assuring here that I am not one to be treated with Kid gloves. 2nd not putting my best foot forward and making it harder for her to make a choice.

    okay so now you have most of the back story here is where I would love some sound advice. As it occurred to me that this girl has captivated my attention for the last 4 months and turning off my feelings does not seem like it is going to be an easy thing to do. We live in a small town, so it is highly likely we will see each other often.

    1. She is a naturopathic dr, and at the conclusion of our call she had offered to do some bodywork on me since I had recently fractured my collarbone and had been very helpful to me when it had occurred. Do i :

    A: Take her up on her offer

    B: Reject the offer until I am feeling less emotionally impacted

    C: Not even act upon it

    2. My sense and is that once she reinvests time into the “other guy” all of her concerns will resurface and that will end. If she was sincere on how she felt about me. From my past experience 6wks I should be hearing from her.

    Advice if/when this happens

    Obviously I really dig this girl so I would great advice that doesn’t involve stalking would be appreciated.

    I have already recast my nets, but I really am getting tired of this.. meet a new girl stuff

  • Staci

    OK, I understand this is a common problem for guys. However, as a woman who has been pretty much stalked relentlessly by seemingly inconsequential one night stands (maybe one month of hookups tops) I will ask you guys to please stop and consider whether or not any given chick you’re fixated on is worth chasing. I’ve totally had it with dudes calling and try to remind me of the great times we had (did we) and hinting at private jokes that frankly, were only funny because I was drunk or trying to break the ice. Give up. Move on. I never claimed to be relationship material, or even interested in becoming such! But it seems like the more I tell guys that I’m not interested in anything permanent, the more determined they are to be “the one” to change my mind.

  • Isaiah

    I am extremely patient and you have to be a real bitch to annoy the hell out of me so when I end a relationship, I end it for good. Maybe others are capable to forget their lovers’ mistakes or bad things said about them, but this doesn’t work for me. If we end it, we end it for good.

  • Evan

    When you decide to call it quits after years of living together, you have a huge wake up call. How could I spend all those years thinking she’s the perfect one for me while perhaps she was in it just for fun? Now she’s the one that wants to get back together but there’s no chance in hell of that happening.

  • Carter

    I screwed things badly and my girlfriend dumped me. She’s the sweetest girl ever but I made the huge mistake of taking things too far after going out with my bros and she found out. She still has feelings for me- she said so – but she’s having a hard time coping. I think I will just let time pass for a few weeks because now she doesn’t want to see me.