The Top 12 Reasons Why Women Reject Men (Almost Instantly)

You finally get the courage to ask a girl out, then you get rejected. We’ve all been there at some point, and there are a wider variety of reasons why this may have happened. Getting rejected is no fun, especially when you having been trying to get the courage to speak to a women over a long period of time.

Rejection

Despite the changes in modern society the burden still lies with the man to make the first move and step up to the plate. Here are some key reasons why men get rejected by women and how best to avoid them.

These 12 reasons are in no particular order but here are some key points which men should take into consideration when approaching a woman.

1: Bad Presentation

In the age of the metrosexual where clean cut and well maintained men region supreme hygiene is important. They tend to make a decision on whether they will date a man within the first 10 seconds of seeing a male.

First impressions start with appearance so make sure that you hygiene is up to par. Clean teeth are essential, a clear sign that a man looks after themselves.

If you are a smoker or heavy coffee drinker make an extra effort to remove the stains from your teeth to keep them nice and white. Foul breath is also a massive turn off for women. Make sure you keep breath mints or minty chewing gum on you when talking to a woman.  Hair is also important and needs to be well maintained in order to avoid the big ‘no.’

Everyone has a different hairstyle and its entirely up to you how you style your hair but make sure it’s clean. Above all make sure you are fresh and smelling clean. No one likes the guy that has overwhelming body odor  If you sweat a lot make sure you have a proper shower and bath before stepping out combined with healthy amounts of anti-persperant and aftershave.

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Presentation and attire is also important when approaching a woman. This doesn’t mean that you have to wear a suit and bow tie but you need to be presentable in line with your overall grooming and hygiene. Worn out clothes or clothes with holes in make you appear scruffy and evidence of a lack of self-care.

Some people go for shirts and trousers others go for t-shirts and jeans, whatever you decide to wear make sure it is: a) in fashion b) clean c) free from holes and d) appropriate. Don’t wear a trendy t-shirt and jeans to a high end cocktail bar.

2: Desperation

Girls can smell desperation a mile away. Desperation tends to give you a lack of real confidence and can also lead to extreme nervousness. This is a massive turn off and can lead to a hard ‘no’ rejection. There a times when desperation can manifest itself, identifying it before it happens will help improve your chances. After a break up people tend to become desperate when they constantly assess where the relationship went wrong and want a new partner in their life.

When you are in this state of mind then your desperation to find someone else becomes obvious. Deal with the emotions involved and move on from the break up to prevent desperation from hampering your approach to new women.

3: Lack of Ambition and Job Prospects

Men that lack drive and ambition are a massive turn off, period. Girls like men that have clear direction in their life. IF you are still living at home playing video games with clue about what to do with your life, this is a sure fire way to get rejected. Women evaluate men’s date-ability and suitability based on who they are as person, if that person is a middle aged video game playing momma’s boy then you are likely to be somewhere near the bottom of her list. No one is saying you need to be the next Bill Gates but you need to have some idea of what tod with your life, especially if you are heading into you late 20s and early 30s.

Having good job prospects is also important to women because it gives them an indication of whether you can look after them financially. Bottom line is they prefer guys who are financially independent as opposed to broke guys who are constantly relying on other people. Women will never turn a guy down because he is too rich but will reject a man for the opposite social position.

Just like men, they look ahead to the future if only for a brief second, and in it is your capabilities to look after her financially. Yes, we live in a modern age where girls aim for their own financial independence but they also don’t want to be one paying all the bills and having to look after you. Solution here is simple get your act together to stand the best chance of not getting rejected.

4: Hey Ya! You Are Boring!!

So you’ve managed to catch her eye and engage in a conversation. Women often do not respond well to guys who are boring or have nothing to say for themselves. If you are naturally shy and introverted then you need to think of things to say before approaching a woman. Talking about a subject that she has no interest in or is considered dull is a sure fire way to get a big rejection. Past the introduction why not ask her some questions about her likes and interests.

Pick one of the subjects of things she likes if you are really struggling for material. An ability to hold a conversation beyond yes or no answers is an indication of man’s intellect, more importantly what they are ultimately like in dating or social situations. In terms of what to say this is down to you. Coming up with cheesy lines typically doesn’t work but in some instances may be a good way of breaking the ice. Being original and interesting will help you get the right approach.

5: Being Indirect

Maybe, possibly, and potentially are all words that you should not use when asking a woman out on a date and can lead to rejection. Women respond to men that are direct and clear about what it is that they want. There is a difference between directness and being cocky. Finding the balance between the two is a case of trial and error. The best way to find the balance is to look at your approach to women objectively.

Ask yourself the question did I come across too strong? Keep your proposition short and concise and then pause for a response. Look directly at them when asking a question or requiring a response, looking down at your toes is another example of being indirect, and provides an idea of your confidence levels.

6: Being Too Pushy

There’s confidence and being too pushy, stepping over the line can result in rejection. All girls are different due to past experience and using the same approach is likely to result in failure. After approaching a woman there are two points where being too pushy can mean that you lose your chance. If during the conversation in a club or bar she wishes to leave your company to re-join her friends, then let her go. Constantly pushing her to stay with you or have another drink may result in a clear rejection.

Did she reject you twice??? You need to watch this now:

Just because she walks away it is not necessarily a clear sign that you have failed. If you have had a good conversation and she is interested, she will return or you will each other again. The other point is at the end of a good conversation. It is important to be direct on a next meet or exchanging details but don’t ask repeatedly if she says no. Silence can be a good thing, wait for her to give you answer and then pose a different question if you do not get intended response.

7: Poor Body Language

Positive body language is the underrate weapon in your arsenal which if used to good effect can yield really positive results. Make sure you have a strong posture upright at all times, being hunched or shuffling your feet shows a clear lack of confidence. Speak up, if you are approaching a women in a bar or club this is especially important. No one wants to talk to the guy who they have to ask to repeat everything twice.

Look directly at her when speaking to her. This shows that you are interested in the conversation and tuned into what it is that she is saying. Letting your eyes wander round the room gives the off the impression that you are bored. Letting your eyes wander below the neck line will give the impression you are a bit of a perv. Both of which are clear ways to get yourself rejected.

8: Relax and Have Fun

The best conversations are those which are fun and easy going. Don’t forget to have fun and be yourself. Women can often tell when men are being disingenuous or false. You don’t have to be a stand-up comedian throughout the duration of the whole conversation but being yourself and relaxing will mean it is a lot easier.

Make sure to study this uber popular post: How To Get A Girl To Like You With This Ultimate Guide For 2013

9: Annoying Habits

Annoying habits and tendencies are difficult to spot but can also be clear reasons for rejection. Typical bad habits range from really crude jokes to picking you nose. Picking up on these habits isn’t easy because you often don’t realise when you are doing them. The best way to find out whether your bad habits could be damaging your chances is too ask a friend. Our friends notice all our bad habits but because they are your friend they may not tell you. Find out what they are then get rid of them to help improve your chances and avoid rejection.

10: Too Outspoken

We’ve established that being confident and being yourself are both good things when approaching women but you can also go too far. It’s important to be honest and speak your mind but being brash and telling her everything inside your head is not wise. We all have thoughts inside our head which are best kept to ourselves. The age old saying of think before you speak will go a long way here, carefully consider your words before opening your month. Saying you miss living at home because you miss your parents is ok. Saying you miss living at home and having everything done for you might not be.

11: Bad Timing

If you know the girl you are approaching, perhaps you work together, you should be more aware of timing. Approaching women than have recently broken up from their boyfriend is a bad idea. The break up may have been painful and messy meaning than mentally she is not in the right frame of mind. In this situation it’s best to give it some time until she feels more like herself, rushing in too soon can be another way to end up with big rejection, when a few weeks later she may have said yes.

12: Not Their Type

There will times when you are rejected because you are simply not their type. Women have certain physical features and personality traits that they find attractive within in a man. If you do not have these then you are likely to get rejected. Sometimes women don’t have a defined physical type and personality traits hold more weight. Although failure to tick the boxes in her head will lead to a rejection. In this situation there is little you can do if you are a five foot tall blond and she likes six foot tall men with dark hair. You can improve your chances by keeping yourself in shape, well groomed and a good conversationalist but sometimes it’s just not enough.

12 + 1: She’s Taken

Sometimes it is the truth and there isn’t much you can do about it.

  • Jeremy J

    You would be surprised at how many men demonstrate more than one of these aweful qualities. Thanks for highlighting them! Dragon Breath and snaggly toenails! EEEw.!

    • http://charmingoo.com/ Josh Brancek

      Yup Jeremy, we men we have to change and start being men again!!!

  • Erica Holloway

    I once rejected a man becuase he had a lazy eye. Sorry to be shallow, but I just could not get passed it. If you have lazy eyes, get some surgery and take care of that $hit.

    • http://charmingoo.com/ Josh Brancek

      Heh, kinda funny story Erica.

  • Yaning

    I cannot stand guys who, when they first meet a woman, they’re not even having a conversation with her, they’re having a convo with her chest. It’s really disrespectful and I can imagine why women would be instantly turned off by it.

    • http://charmingoo.com/ Josh Brancek

      Yaning, so true!!! You have to know how to attract her!!!

  • kim johnson

    ALOT OF GOOD INFORMATION. ESPECIALLY TRUE ABOUT THE GROOMING. I WENT OUT WITH A GUY ONCE WHO HAD THE GREASIEST HAIR I EVER SEEN IN MY LIFE. NOT SURE IF IT WAS ON PURPOSE OR NOT. HE KEPT CALLING AFTER THE FIRST DATE BUT I FOUND HIM SO GROSS THAT I ACTUALLY CHANGED MY PHONE NUMBER.

    • http://charmingoo.com/ Josh Brancek

      Kim, thanks for sharing your thoughts and perspective with us!!!

  • rich

    Coming on too strong can be a problem. I’ve made that mistake. I find that trying to be myself is best. And its the same for women. I would rather know a woman’s quirks right up front rather than have her act like someone she’s not on the first couple of dates and find out later

    • http://charmingoo.com/ Josh Brancek

      Rich, thanks for sharing your perspective on this!!!

  • efpierce

    You’re right, those first 10 seconds can make or break you. It works both ways too, and your first impression of someone will go a long way in making up for their lack of certain other qualities that you would normally look for.

    • http://charmingoo.com/ Josh Brancek

      Efpierce, you are right!!! Thanks for commenting!!!

  • Erica

    Bad breath is the worst especially if you’re in a bar and the guy has to come right into your face or ear to talk to you because it’s so loud and you gotta breath that toxic cloud. Breath mints please!

    • http://charmingoo.com/ Josh Brancek

      Erica, thanks for sharing your thoughts with us!!!

    • Dave Wilson

      Erica, I bet it’s a lot more for you than just that.

  • Pedro

    it’s most commonly hard to win a girl’s heart! i’ve been in gud romance with mine but i am now rejected! i tried with all tricks to take her back but failure is overtaking me. so what to do for last?

  • TOD

    Your tips are the top of the line. You are so dead on with everything that you say. I had a problem with being to outspoken it is what you feel but it doesn’t mean you should be saying it. Lol this list should be memorized. I blew a few relationships because I did a lot of stuff from this list.

  • Sad To Say

    they are just too damn picky to begin with, and many of the women today are very High Maintenance as well.

    • Dave Wilson

      Amen brother. I have been married almost 9 years and follow all if the tips and I am lucky to even get sex once a week. Very few women appreciate men these days.

  • Very Serious

    Most of the women out there today are certainly such Losers to begin with, especially now that many of them think there all that.

    • Olivia Marie Wall

      Maybe you date losers because you are a loser… I am sure if they know how to use there, they’re, and their then they are “All that”

      • Very Serious

        Not really, because most of you women are very stupid and not educated at all. And that is a very good reason why many of us men can’t find a decent one nowadays, and they’re nothing like the women of years ago that were certainly a lot smarter and down to earth.

        • Sorry

          Keep looking. The last thing women want today is some smelly arrogant douchebag with a 4 inch chode huffing around like he’s king of the planet and treating that 4-incher and his attitude like it’s a favor. Men, either evolve from the apes you are or go date the apes. It’s all you’ve got left these days; we’re done with you! I and my girlfriends are laughing our butts off at these male comments! You’re all SO PATHETIC!

      • Absolutely

        You’re the type of woman that i will stay away from anyway.

        • Sorry

          Until you see she’s probably a HB10/10 then you’ll plunge off the cliff to stick your D in her like all the rest :)

          Stop playing, son :)

  • Aaron Stites

    Holy typos Batman! This author needs to proofread. Like “region supreme” is supposed to be “reign supreme”.

  • Ryan James

    I deal with this nonsense often. I try to be myself to get women to notice me, but it never works. I’m usually calm and collected when I talk to a woman, maybe it’s the women I am attracted to, maybe she’s just too good for me, I don’t know. It sucks though and I wish I could figure it all out.

    I believe all of this stuff has happened to me at least once each. I’ve talked to girls many times who later announce she’s dating someone and some girls act like they’re too good for you. It’s annoying. :(

    • Very Much The Truth

      You have to remember that many women out there are very dysfunctional as well since they think that there all that nowadays, especially that many of them do play hard to get. But i will never understand why they go out with men that are not much on looks, and they will date the bad boy type of men which never makes any sense at all. Very sad to say that women today are very messed up, and the women of years ago were certainly Much Better than the ones that are out there now.

      • Dave Wilson

        It’s not man’s world anymore, it’s a woman’s world

      • Olivia Marie Wall

        Maybe you attract dysfunctional women because you are dysfunctional yourself… I be you’re a “nice guy” too

        • AW

          Yes you’re a complete Loser.

          • Sorry

            She’s the one with the vagina.

            You and other men want it. She and other women can live our entire lives without needing the D even so much as once. Take away the P and you would all commit suicide in 48 hours.

            Ergo: You’re the loser. Not her or any other woman. Sucks, don’t it?

            Blame nature then :)

    • Dave Wilson

      Women hate nice guys, but you have to keep being yourself.

  • JosephK

    Oh for sure, this is all true. I think it’s because I’m generally a boring man. I know there’s a woman out there for me, but I think it’s best to find them on dating sites or by other means rather than going to a bar or club where I will never have any luck sadly.

    • Dave Wilson

      Hang in there, Joseph. Don’t let all these shallow immature women get you down. Most women don’t like nice guys, but don’t let that stop you!

  • Genna

    Okay, so I just want to stop in here and say that men are the same way too. I’ve hit on men before and to only be stuffed by my advances. This is why I don’t like finding people at clubs or bars. I don’t mind meeting people at parties, because it’s more intimate and it’s your friend’s friends so that makes it better. Anyways I totally understand, there’s a ton of women out there who’re stuck up and only want the tough and good looking guy.

    I do too, but I don’t worry so much about getting that guy, if a guy shows interest in me, I want to know why and so we talk, get to know each other. Not all women are like this.

    • The True Honest Answer

      But if there weren’t so many Stuck Up Women in the first place, just maybe many of us men would be able to meet a Nice One for a change.

      • Olivia Marie Wall

        Maybe you can’t meet a Nice One because you aren’t that nice..

    • Olivia Marie Wall

      I agree, and if you’re going to a bar to meet the one (it may happen and if it does props to you) then it probably won’t work… I’ve been rejected a few times, but then again who hasn’t. I’m married now but I never got the being mean thing… so what if that person doesn’t want to date you… that doesn’t really say much about you or them… just that one or the other wasn’t interested… why get upset about it… I never understood people who after one date thought you were “dating…” what was all that about… the questions start the next day “where are you?” “who are you with?” “what are you doing?” ugh we went on one date… then you say you do not want to see them and suddenly you’re the worst person in the world because you used them, played them, strung them along… all the while you went on one date that didn’t even end in a kiss… I guess people are more sensitive then others… but come on and put on your adult undies… Men and Women are both perpetrators of this… get over it… it’s not like the person who rejected you dated you for six years while sleeping around then dumped you on your wedding day… or the day after your wedding day. I’d also like to say… that while there are stuck up women there are stuck up men… and grabbing a ladies arm at the bar and trying to feel her up while she rejects you a stuck up lady does not make… how about treating people like they have some value because they are a person. (this isn’t to Gemma but to True Honest Answer).

  • Trav

    Yeah, I agree with this all. I’ve met women at bars that at first were really cool, and they got crazy when they saw a better looking guy in the room. I just want to say, that women don’t always go for looks, most women will actually talk to you if you’re not socially awkward and are putting yourself out there. Women love that.

    I can be socially awkward at times and I really worry around women, that’s not good, but I will sometimes get through it and do my best to converse with these beautiful women. My suggestion, be cooler than them. If that’s possible.

    • LR

      Women like socially awkward men just so that way they feel more confident.

  • Carl Beadle

    You just have to be yourself. Women strive when men show them they’re interested in them. Women don’t care as much for looks as you think, you have to be fun, sweet, charming, able to hold a conversation and oh so many more. Women are complex, hard to read, and so you need to attempt to read them.

    Women do get bored quick when a man isn’t interested in him. Your best option I think, is to ask her questions. Just keep doing it. Women love it when a man asks her about herself. It works for me most of the time.

    • Ardellaboy

      Ha! I’ve been asking questions to a lady about herself and it’s doing nothing. She only answers non-personal questions.

  • Chuck Schick

    the author is an ass kissing douche bag

  • Eric

    I have to agree with chuck on this one. This article is just another cookie cutter retread from some freelancer trying to sound like a guru. You mean to tell me that a woman already has the guy pegged in 12+1 different ways when she can’t decide which eye shadow to wear in under a half hour. I think you give women too much credit, champion.

  • IronChar

    12 isn’t important in most cases believe it or not. ESPECIALLY if he’s not around and shes at a bar “with her friends”

  • IronChar

    while I’m at it, 11 isn’t important either. Your human? guess what? were all in the same league, deep down we all just want to fuck the shit out of each other, don’t let “leagues” and “scales” hold you back. stop comparing and just go with the flow of being

  • IronChar

    oh… and Eric types wise words

  • Rhonda

    liked your comments Josh, I think they are right on..the pushy part was great.
    if he comes on too strong way too early.. a big major turn off!

  • Tim

    What about guys who suffer from autism and are born with social learning difficulties? And women want men with financial security…Hello does the words gold digger spring to mind? Winds me up…Women expect men to support them financially…Talk about selfish! If you want financial security girls…Get a job, simple!

    Women are just to judgemental..End of rant.

    • Sorry

      “What about guys who suffer from autism and are born with social learning difficulties? ”

      You don’t get to mate. Simple. If you have those defects, nature is against your genes spreading. Those men have a built-in personality firewall that prevents it.

      Darwin.

  • Waffles_Of_Doom

    Gentlemen, here’s a quick solution – Disregard females, acquire currency.

  • Boney N

    Make big cash and flaunt it. If you do women of all ages, looks and types will literally throw themselves at you due to the ‘biological peacock effect’ – irrespective of your age, looks or history.

    From the book/TV series ‘Human Instinct’ by Dr. Robert Winston ..
    “Women on the whole, prefer high-status ambitious males. How do these men show women their status ? They display symbols of their financial and social superiority. I am reminded of my trip to Los Angeles to make the programme on sex in the Human Instinct series. The BBC had arranged for four fashionable women to sit at an outdoor cafe on a smart Beverley Hills boulevard. They were given cards to score the next male to drive up and sit at the next table on the sidewalk. Unknown to them, my producer had persuaded the cafe owner to keep the table for me. I drove up in an old banger, a Ford obtained from one of the local film studios. I wore a jumper and torn trousers, with dirty sneakers. When the ladies held up cards like ice-rink judges, my four scores were 0, 0, 1, 0, average 0.25.

    The next day I had a manicure at a beauty salon and a shampoo and haircut done by Laurent, who does Gwyneth Paltrow’s and Meg Ryan’s hair. I wore a twenty-five-thousand-dollar set of cufflinks borrowed from Harry Winston’s, a thirty-thousand dollar diamond studded watch from Cartier, and a Versace suit and tie from Rodeo Drive. And I was driving a brand-new open top Bentley worth a quarter of a million dollars. As I walked past the same table and sat down, the cards went up: 10, 9, 10, 10, average 9.75″

  • Robin

    To give tips on sex education to the prospective male is not good – yr only encouraging men to be sex focused. Most women unless they’re harlots appreciate and respect a man who has high moral standards. They feel safe with that man. I speak as a woman Robin

  • LR

    Women care about looks over personality and sure they will prefer tall blondes over redheads. Yes, blonde men are more attractive than ginger-haired men and they can look rugged as well. Women have a defined physical type that weighs more than personality.

  • Elisabeth

    If you approach me with a macho attitude and use cheesy lines to get me to talk with you, you sure as hell can bet that you will be told to fuck off. Joey Tribbiani’s lines are funny in the movies, not when you spam women in the club so do your best to be more creative or use the sincerity approach.

  • Nicholas

    Yes, every woman prefers a certain type of man just like we men have our preferences. But this doesn’t mean that she will stay with an ass just because he’s blonde and tall. In the end we want someone to connect with, to share our feelings, someone that is worth spending time with.