You finally get the courage to ask a girl out, then you get rejected. We’ve all been there at some point, and there are a wider variety of reasons why this may have happened. Getting rejected is no fun, especially when you having been trying to get the courage to speak to a women over a long period of time.
Despite the changes in modern society the burden still lies with the man to make the first move and step up to the plate. Here are some key reasons why men get rejected by women and how best to avoid them.
These 12 reasons are in no particular order but here are some key points which men should take into consideration when approaching a woman.
1: Bad Presentation
In the age of the metrosexual where clean cut and well maintained men region supreme hygiene is important. They tend to make a decision on whether they will date a man within the first 10 seconds of seeing a male.
First impressions start with appearance so make sure that you hygiene is up to par. Clean teeth are essential, a clear sign that a man looks after themselves.
If you are a smoker or heavy coffee drinker make an extra effort to remove the stains from your teeth to keep them nice and white. Foul breath is also a massive turn off for women. Make sure you keep breath mints or minty chewing gum on you when talking to a woman. Hair is also important and needs to be well maintained in order to avoid the big ‘no.’
Everyone has a different hairstyle and its entirely up to you how you style your hair but make sure it’s clean. Above all make sure you are fresh and smelling clean. No one likes the guy that has overwhelming body odor If you sweat a lot make sure you have a proper shower and bath before stepping out combined with healthy amounts of anti-persperant and aftershave.
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Presentation and attire is also important when approaching a woman. This doesn’t mean that you have to wear a suit and bow tie but you need to be presentable in line with your overall grooming and hygiene. Worn out clothes or clothes with holes in make you appear scruffy and evidence of a lack of self-care.
Some people go for shirts and trousers others go for t-shirts and jeans, whatever you decide to wear make sure it is: a) in fashion b) clean c) free from holes and d) appropriate. Don’t wear a trendy t-shirt and jeans to a high end cocktail bar.
Girls can smell desperation a mile away. Desperation tends to give you a lack of real confidence and can also lead to extreme nervousness. This is a massive turn off and can lead to a hard ‘no’ rejection. There a times when desperation can manifest itself, identifying it before it happens will help improve your chances. After a break up people tend to become desperate when they constantly assess where the relationship went wrong and want a new partner in their life.
When you are in this state of mind then your desperation to find someone else becomes obvious. Deal with the emotions involved and move on from the break up to prevent desperation from hampering your approach to new women.
3: Lack of Ambition and Job Prospects
Men that lack drive and ambition are a massive turn off, period. Girls like men that have clear direction in their life. IF you are still living at home playing video games with clue about what to do with your life, this is a sure fire way to get rejected. Women evaluate men’s date-ability and suitability based on who they are as person, if that person is a middle aged video game playing momma’s boy then you are likely to be somewhere near the bottom of her list. No one is saying you need to be the next Bill Gates but you need to have some idea of what tod with your life, especially if you are heading into you late 20s and early 30s.
Having good job prospects is also important to women because it gives them an indication of whether you can look after them financially. Bottom line is they prefer guys who are financially independent as opposed to broke guys who are constantly relying on other people. Women will never turn a guy down because he is too rich but will reject a man for the opposite social position.
Just like men, they look ahead to the future if only for a brief second, and in it is your capabilities to look after her financially. Yes, we live in a modern age where girls aim for their own financial independence but they also don’t want to be one paying all the bills and having to look after you. Solution here is simple get your act together to stand the best chance of not getting rejected.
4: Hey Ya! You Are Boring!!
So you’ve managed to catch her eye and engage in a conversation. Women often do not respond well to guys who are boring or have nothing to say for themselves. If you are naturally shy and introverted then you need to think of things to say before approaching a woman. Talking about a subject that she has no interest in or is considered dull is a sure fire way to get a big rejection. Past the introduction why not ask her some questions about her likes and interests.
Pick one of the subjects of things she likes if you are really struggling for material. An ability to hold a conversation beyond yes or no answers is an indication of man’s intellect, more importantly what they are ultimately like in dating or social situations. In terms of what to say this is down to you. Coming up with cheesy lines typically doesn’t work but in some instances may be a good way of breaking the ice. Being original and interesting will help you get the right approach.
5: Being Indirect
Maybe, possibly, and potentially are all words that you should not use when asking a woman out on a date and can lead to rejection. Women respond to men that are direct and clear about what it is that they want. There is a difference between directness and being cocky. Finding the balance between the two is a case of trial and error. The best way to find the balance is to look at your approach to women objectively.
Ask yourself the question did I come across too strong? Keep your proposition short and concise and then pause for a response. Look directly at them when asking a question or requiring a response, looking down at your toes is another example of being indirect, and provides an idea of your confidence levels.
6: Being Too Pushy
There’s confidence and being too pushy, stepping over the line can result in rejection. All girls are different due to past experience and using the same approach is likely to result in failure. After approaching a woman there are two points where being too pushy can mean that you lose your chance. If during the conversation in a club or bar she wishes to leave your company to re-join her friends, then let her go. Constantly pushing her to stay with you or have another drink may result in a clear rejection.
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Just because she walks away it is not necessarily a clear sign that you have failed. If you have had a good conversation and she is interested, she will return or you will each other again. The other point is at the end of a good conversation. It is important to be direct on a next meet or exchanging details but don’t ask repeatedly if she says no. Silence can be a good thing, wait for her to give you answer and then pose a different question if you do not get intended response.
7: Poor Body Language
Positive body language is the underrate weapon in your arsenal which if used to good effect can yield really positive results. Make sure you have a strong posture upright at all times, being hunched or shuffling your feet shows a clear lack of confidence. Speak up, if you are approaching a women in a bar or club this is especially important. No one wants to talk to the guy who they have to ask to repeat everything twice.
Look directly at her when speaking to her. This shows that you are interested in the conversation and tuned into what it is that she is saying. Letting your eyes wander round the room gives the off the impression that you are bored. Letting your eyes wander below the neck line will give the impression you are a bit of a perv. Both of which are clear ways to get yourself rejected.
8: Relax and Have Fun
The best conversations are those which are fun and easy going. Don’t forget to have fun and be yourself. Women can often tell when men are being disingenuous or false. You don’t have to be a stand-up comedian throughout the duration of the whole conversation but being yourself and relaxing will mean it is a lot easier.
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9: Annoying Habits
Annoying habits and tendencies are difficult to spot but can also be clear reasons for rejection. Typical bad habits range from really crude jokes to picking you nose. Picking up on these habits isn’t easy because you often don’t realise when you are doing them. The best way to find out whether your bad habits could be damaging your chances is too ask a friend. Our friends notice all our bad habits but because they are your friend they may not tell you. Find out what they are then get rid of them to help improve your chances and avoid rejection.
10: Too Outspoken
We’ve established that being confident and being yourself are both good things when approaching women but you can also go too far. It’s important to be honest and speak your mind but being brash and telling her everything inside your head is not wise. We all have thoughts inside our head which are best kept to ourselves. The age old saying of think before you speak will go a long way here, carefully consider your words before opening your month. Saying you miss living at home because you miss your parents is ok. Saying you miss living at home and having everything done for you might not be.
11: Bad Timing
If you know the girl you are approaching, perhaps you work together, you should be more aware of timing. Approaching women than have recently broken up from their boyfriend is a bad idea. The break up may have been painful and messy meaning than mentally she is not in the right frame of mind. In this situation it’s best to give it some time until she feels more like herself, rushing in too soon can be another way to end up with big rejection, when a few weeks later she may have said yes.
12: Not Their Type
There will times when you are rejected because you are simply not their type. Women have certain physical features and personality traits that they find attractive within in a man. If you do not have these then you are likely to get rejected. Sometimes women don’t have a defined physical type and personality traits hold more weight. Although failure to tick the boxes in her head will lead to a rejection. In this situation there is little you can do if you are a five foot tall blond and she likes six foot tall men with dark hair. You can improve your chances by keeping yourself in shape, well groomed and a good conversationalist but sometimes it’s just not enough.
12 + 1: She’s Taken
Sometimes it is the truth and there isn’t much you can do about it.