There are many people who always tend to misinterpret what attraction really means. For starters, attraction is something that we simply feel. We cannot tell ourselves to be attracted to someone; we have to feel a mutual connection with the other person.
So, more often than not we see people and we make eye contact, maybe it’s that awkward situation when you both look at each other at the same time, or maybe it’s that other awkward moment where you look at them, and they catch you staring.
Either way, there is always a variation of questions that course through our mind, simple yet complicated questions to understand like: Does he like me? Or, should I approach her?
However, we are all human and once we actually feel that attraction, something about the entire scenario makes us a bit shy. We never know in which way we should approach or worse, if we should approach at all.
There are so many different meanings to every type of body language. Those who study body language know how to interpret the way a person looks, moves and acts. Often, body language can indicate if the person is insecure or shy.
If you are a female and you are wondering why he has yet to approach you, then maybe it’s because he feels like he’s no match for you. If this is the case and he’s insecure, he will look at you multiple times and always contemplate the many ways he can approach you. This can be simple for some people, yet complicated for others. Many people have experience with meeting someone they have never met before, they can take the approach easily, talk about things that might catch the others interest and, know exactly what to say and do when to say and do it. Other people have no experience at all.
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Let’s say there is a good looking person across from you and you have never approached someone you don’t know; you can always inch closer and closer, without creeping them out of course. Lets pretend you’re at an art gallery and there’s a lovely women standing before a painting, you have no idea what that painting is about let alone who painted it. Go easy and be honest, stand beside her for a few seconds and look at the painting. After those painful seconds have passed, go for it. As her what the painting is about and who painted it.
This can certainly catch her interest; it would get her talking to you in no time. She’s obviously into art and should know facts about the art before the two of you, always, always keep the conversation going, even if you have no idea what to say, find something. It can be cheesy or awkward but believe me; several weeks from now, the two of you would be out to dinner laughing over the cheesy comment you said in the art gallery.
Is She Trying Or Not?
There are several ways to determine whether or not he/she is making one. In this case, let’s pretend we’re all a man and there’s a women nearby that is constantly looking your way. The first and literally the most common is the break away gaze. Technically, she would simply look at you and turn away quickly. There are several reasons why she wouldn’t approach you, maybe she’s shy, or just simply too prideful. The shy woman wouldn’t have the guts to go up to a handsome guy and introduce herself, whereas, the prideful women wouldn’t approach him because she simply has too much pride, she wants you to approach her.
So many things could be going through her mind right now, right? Small thoughts that have a large meaning behind them, like for example, she could be thinking how handsome you are. Then after several seconds later, she looks at you again, this time you look in her eyes, too. However, she doesn’t hold it. Instead she breaks away, once more. She will repeat this process over again and her finally thought, if you keep looking at her too would be: Would he approach me? Now, gentlemen, would you?
The other type people use when they look at each other frequently is the no break one. This of course, is when two people lock eyes without breaking away. It’s sort of like playing a “who blinks away first looses” game. The two lock eyes for several seconds and then what? You tell me.
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Of course it would be a splendid idea to walk over to her and ask for her name. That would be the obvious thing to do right? Well most people never do that; they simply look away as if the mutual connection moment never happened. Yet it has, and it’s there. So why not approach her? That’s because you aren’t sure exactly what you are feeling. Like I said before, attraction is definitely not something you can tell yourself, attraction is something that you feel, an inevitable feeling that lingers even after one of you broke away.
Love At First Sight
There’s this thing called love at first sight and people often wonder if it truly does exist. Lets clear some things first: to be able to fall in love with someone at first sight you would need to gaze at them, lock eyes, and approach them. It would be the obvious way to go anyway. However, the no break type requires several seconds of staring at that one person’s eyes. So many things can be running through their mind. Either both of them could be thinking the same thing at the same time or something entirely different.
A few quick glances back and fourth between the two of you is a way to start. Obviously, you are completely infatuated by her beauty and she too, is infatuated by the handsome guy sitting or standing a few feet away. In this case, she is definitely waiting for you to approach her and you will, when you feel the time is right. You will play the entire conversation over in your mind: what will you ask her, what would she say back, what do you say after that? Inside your mind the approach and the conversation would play perfectly, everything would go perfect. However, humans always tend to over think things too much, just let it flow easily, wherever the conversation goes, it’s meant to be there.
However, from a woman’s perspective, it’s attractive when a man could hold eye contact without breaking away because in truth, that’s rare. Not many guys can often keep connection with a woman, some get nervous and always cave because of the amount of tension. Like I said before, if he is insecure then he wont be able to hold it because of the lack of confidence he feels within himself. Women prefer men with masculine confidence, someone who would not buckle because of all the tension.
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Although many women would never approach a guy simply because it’s a belief that the guy who should approach the gal, she would always give a hint and let you know that she is interested after she first looks at you, that’s your cue, don’t let it slip.
However, men tend to overlook the cues that are thrown their way. What they mostly do is misinterpret a woman’s signals because they do not quite understand what they are or let alone what they mean. More often than not she would shoot him a glance and he wouldn’t think anything of it, a few seconds she’ll do it again and soon after that. Yet, he still doesn’t get the hint. That’s because perhaps he is full with doubt.
If the contact was unbreakable for 8 seconds or more, than he/she is so into you and there is not one doubt about it. Women were born to be a tease. They have this look in their eyes when it comes to attracting a man with a simple look, somehow beneath the brooding eyes; she’s daring him to approach her. And that’s something that she would want more than anything, in that moment anyway. If you two are at a bar, and she glances your way, then glances away only to glance back several painful seconds later, then it should be clear to you now that she’s tempting you to approach her, because believe it or not this is what she wants. There’s always body language too, like I said before, you can easily read someone’s body if you know what you’re doing.
Besides being born a tease, women are known to be the most confusing human beings. They are known to be very subtle in a way that confuses men. Yet, aside from that they are also mysterious. You would never know what’s going through a woman’s mind unless you’re some sort of mind reader. Therefore, there can be different meanings behind the smirk on her lips when she’s constantly looking at you.
Women, unlike men, can always differentiate. They can take the hint, if the guy does not stare back after one stare, he’s most likely not interested. On the other hand, if he does stare back and lock eyes, then there’s a possibility that he is. Eye contact usually just means that you have their attention, and once you do you should take action. Approach.
As for the ladies, if there’s one guy that is constantly looking at you, pay close attention to his pupils. When someone likes what they are looking at, in this case a guy, his pupils would dilate. They tend to extend because apparently he wants to take in what he’s looking at, you, of course. His mind is racing, and though it may look as if he’s somehow thinking of something else, he might be thinking of ways to approach, to get a word in without making everything awkward and too tense.
Ways of Flirting
Talking through eyes is a way of flirting, yet in most cases some people are never aware that they are staring at the other person. This can always happen subconsciously. When he or she does not know that he is staring. There have been theories made by sociologists that state when two people make connection for several seconds, the person to look away first is usually the less dominant.
I personally believe that looking into beautiful eyes can mean other things besides attraction. It could be the way the color of your eyes look or maybe; you look like someone they know. So if it’s the latter, they would constantly look at you back and fourth and you would most likely misinterpret this as a sign of attraction.
In general, if you are looking at a girl, the most appropriate place to look is in her eyes. This way she would know how respectful you are. If you’re looking at somewhere other than her eyes, like her boobs for example, she might not take you seriously and eventually walk away if you do try to approach her.
If by any chance you do plan on approaching someone you have recently made contact with, make sure to engage in typical conversation, it’s good not to be too straight forward sometimes, especially if you are just meeting the person. Try something small and ask them for coffee or breakfast. That way you can take it step by step. Always keep in mind that if it starts fast, it’s most likely to end fast.
All in all, always remember what to look for and what to look at when it comes to the opposite sex. Eye contact attraction is quite common nowadays, however, people always tend to let their chance slip away from their fingers because they are too shy and/or insecure. However, never let the tension or pride you feel dominate your chance at getting to know someone.