Once upon a time, most people were able to find their true love without having to travel very far to find them at all. In the fairy tales and storybooks, the main character’s true love was always either in the same village or in the next town over from them. Even in the real-world, many couples had the life story of falling in love with their childhood sweethearts or the girls (and boys) that lived next door to them.
Thus, in both dimensions – fantasy and reality – space was never really that much of an issue when it came to relationships.
Things have drastically changed since then, because it has truly become a significant factor around the world.
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The average man and woman is no longer able to find their perfect matches in the houses next door, within the same city or even in the next town over from them. They may be separated by hundreds and even thousands of miles from their true loves and have to deal with that for quite a long time.
Can they make it work? Can you even consider that sort of arrangement as being an official? Yes, you can. It is known as a LDR.
What is a Long Distance Relationship or Better Called LDR?
A LDR is considered between two people that live far apart away from each other. Even though different people have different opinions about the length of space that is required in order for it to be considered a long distance, there is not an official amount that has been specifically listed though.
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Many people that get involved in one for the first time are quickly to realize that they have embarked on a journey through uncharted territory. There is a wide range of articles, reports and studies that have been done can provide you with some great information, but it is important to remember one key point about is that you should cherish and contain at the forefront of your mind at all times. It can be summarized through the content of a basic formula that will help you to understand this key point. Would you like to know it? Here it is.
The Basic Formula
There is a very simple formula about LDRs that makes them effective and successful. However, even though it is extremely basic and easy to understand, it is also very easy to over complicate and make extremely difficult to apply. That may be a little confusing to you now, but everything will be cleared up once you seen the formula. Let’s break down the math behind this formula.
We can identify the two people as Person X and Person Y in this formula. Therefore, the formula can be simply expressed as:
Person X + Person Y = Successful LD Couple
What does this exactly mean? The only two factors of the equation that are significant at all are the two people that are involved. Notice that there are no other variables that are part of this formula besides just the two. Why is this so important to remember?
The Adverse Reaction of Other People
If you thought that the opinions of other people were negative factors between normal couples, then you have to intensify that effectiveness by at least 10 in order to measure just how negative those opinions can be within a LDR. As soon as you make it known publicly that you are engaged in one, it seems as if you will automatically become bombarded with people that are eager to share their opinions with you and express just how they feel about your decision.
At least 80% of the time, even your closest friends and relatives may be quick to tell you that they are completely against it even if the person that you are involved with is the perfect match for you. Common sayings that are heard a lot by those that may be included within your circle of friends include, but are not limited to, “You know those never work, right?”, “Are you sure that you want to do that?” and the blatant response of “That’s just a really bad idea.”
This is why it is always important that you keep the basic formula of the LDR at the forefront of your mind instead of in the back, because you are going to need to refer back to it frequently throughout the course of your life. The only two people that matter when it comes to your love life are you and your significant other. That is it!
There are no other friends, relatives, coworkers, neighbors or even nosey busybodies that want to delve into your personal life. Therefore, it is imperative that you do not bring them into it.
How Do YOU Feel?
Everyone is going to have opinions about the person that you choose to intimately get close to and have a relationship with over time. It truly does not matter how far or close they may be to you, but it seems to get a little more intense and frustrating to have to hear all of those secondary opinions and statements when you are involved with someone that is miles and miles away from you.
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The most important thing that you need to focus on is not how they feel about your love life, but rather how you feel. Once you have come to grips with your own feelings and your significant other has also had the chance to come to grips with their owns, then you two will be on the right path towards building a foundation for a successful, long-term one – regardless of kms that will separate you at first.
Millions of people have been able to successfully maintain them for several months and even years, especially throughout the 20th and 21st centuries so far. Even though it may have seemed rare to find any long-term couples in the past, these seem to be popping up quite frequently over the past several decades on a global scale. What are some of the latest trends that have been noticed throughout the world?
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The Rising Popularity of Online Dating
One of the major trends is that of online internet dating. Even though this may have seemed taboo many years ago, especially when the internet first started to become popular on a global scale, it has truly become a very popular alternative to traditional dating.
Many different studies have been able to prove over time that there are actually more new couples that are finding their perfect matches online through an internet chat room, social networking website or even an official dating website than there are new couples that are being formed through the old-fashioned way of dating through face-to-face interactions.
Internet dating allows people to be able to expand their horizons of possibilities far beyond the boundaries of their own city’s limits. They have the option of searching for love throughout their state or province, their entire country or even other countries throughout the world as well. BTW, if you want an awesome resource of advice and tips, check out: lovingfromadistance.com
Since you can never really know just when and where true love is going to strike, it is very likely that the perfect person that you meet online will not be right next door to you. There definitely will be some sort of space involved between the two people that are involved; some will actually be separated by many, many more miles than others. However, internet dating is truly on the rise of popularity in recent years and will continue to drastically change the way that new couples are being formed worldwide.
The Value of Honest Communication
Communication has always been viewed as a vital element. If you truly want to cherish and have it last a very long time, the best thing that you can do is to create and maintain an open line of communication between you and your significant other. This is even more important because communication may be all that you have between one another.
The majority of a person’s insecurities, doubts and uncertainties arise within a LDR because of the fear of not knowing what is going on with the other partner. You may spend countless hours and even days at a time wondering and worrying about whether or not your significant other cares about you as much as you care about them or even if they are being faithful at all. To keep them out of the mental land of anxiety that is cloaked by the presence of the unknown, it is imperative that you both have an understanding that you need to tell each other everything and anything.
Going Far Beyond the Telephone
This may require you to do much more than just call them on the phone. Phone calls do very little when it comes to communication these days, because your significant other is going to want to be able to see you and be with you in a much more intimate way. This is why you should use everything that you have available at your disposal.
The advancements of technology have made it easy to communicate through video chats and conference calls held through different online programs, such as Skype, so you can at least see their smile and allow them to see yours. There is always the never-outdated concept of writing passionate love letters and mailing them to your significant others to remind them just how much you care. Your goal should be to try everything that you can to remind your significant other that you are keeping the line of communication wide open on your end and you are hoping that they will be able to return the favor from their own end as well.
Breaking Down Your Personal Barriers
You need to break down your own personal barriers and release yourself from your own comfort zone in order to make a LDR work. The odds are that you are not used to having a successful one that has worked in the past, which is why there are so many of your close friends and relatives that will try to steer you away from heading in this direction.
You have to be able to let all of that go and be as adaptable to the situation as possible. Focus on your needs, but you also have to make sure that you are catering to the needs of your significant other as well.
They may need more (or less) of a commitment from you and it is going to be up to you to make sure that you keep them happy the same way that it is going to be up to them to keep you happy. Just as is the case with any relationship, you are not going to get everything that you want all of the time with your significant other – regardless if they are on the other side of the world or just on the other side of the street.
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Your LDR is going to need to be the epitome of give-and-take bonds, because that is the only way that you both are going to find pleasure through this loving arrangement and want it continue even longer. Break down the barriers that you have placed up either on your own or the barriers that have been placed up overall by society when it comes to LDRs.
From Long Distance to Matrimonial Bliss
If you truly do care for that person and if you truly do want it to work, you are going to need to be willing to sacrifice, compromise and realize that you are not the only one in the relationship that has needs, ambitions and expectations for that bond. Who knows? Maybe that special someone may become the one that you give your life to forever. If that is the case, you will not have to worry about being separated by distance for very much longer! However, the principles that were applied during the separated phase will still help you to fortify your matrimonial bond for many, many years.
Further Reading and Sources